Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Surreal Times
A South Park episode a few years back revealed that planet Earth is just a reality show enjoyed by the rest of the universe. The boys saved the show from being cancelled (appealing to the head alien, a talking taco that poos ice cream, but I digress) and Earth was allowed to continue.

That crossed my mind last night when I heard a lengthy report on MSNBC about how much Saddam Hussein loves Doritos and can eat an entire family bag in one sitting. Maybe the Iraq War is just one big product placement opportunity in some intergalactic reality show. (Do you think other chip companies got to bid to be on Saddam Hussein's menu, under the all-publicity-is-good-publicity theory?) What if his newfound love of Doritos softens his anti-Western stance? Is anyone in the CIA working on slipping some oreos and coke to Osama?

2 conclusions: first, the whole world is going completely insane; second, when the news stations just don't have any news to report, they should be required to pause their broadcasting until they do. The evil tyrant of Iraq hates Fruit Loops and loves Raisin Bran. Someone kill me now.

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