Captain Obvious
The news today is full of things I'm sure you didn't know.

Diana, Princess of Wales, was not in fact killed by the British government.

Americans are fat and watch lots of TV.

The Associated Press' Daniel Yee is somehow getting paid to report that the success of Hooters' restaurant chain has something to do with the waitresses.

Now that he's running for President, MA Governor Mitt Romney has found the conservative religion on everything from abortion to gay rights. Who would have thought he'd change his mind just in time for the primaries? What are the odds?

What other astounding findings are in the news today?